post no. 92 -- Welcome to the Emotional Roller Coaster that is Life

Don't lie, some days we all get a little all over the place, me included. Some days it's hard to forget the past, and focus on the future. This morning was one of those days. All I could think about was how I've screwed up in the past, and just some overall negative thoughts. I kept reliving past jobs, friendships, and life in general. I had an anxiety attack, all while staying rather calm. I know there are probably a lot of people out there that have the same thoughts running through their mind, and I know how depressing that can be. 

But how do you get over it? How do you move past what you're feeling, and focus on the + ? 

You have to take a major step back. For every action that has happened in your past and mine, there have been reactions. I'm going to go back in time quite a bit for this example. Summer 2004, I was in Washington visiting family. My mom and I had gone up together, but she had flown back early and I was up there for the rest of the week with my aunt. One morning I get a call from my mom. We're moving to Laguna Beach. About an hour plus away from my school, it meant moving to the public schools in town. Leaving friends I had known since elementary school right as I was about to enter high school was the farthest thing from my plans. But that's life. I went almost two years without any true friends, and even after I met Martha, we had our ups and downs. But by moving to Laguna, I met Kris. And now we're married, and even though sometimes there is nothing I would rather do than scream at him, I love him to pieces. 

Every friend I let go, or opportunity I passed up led me to where I'm at right now. And where I am right now, even though it's not all sunshine and roses, makes me happy. 

When I started writing this post, I was the farthest thing from chipper. But slowly but surely things get better. When you're feeling down, try to think about something happy. If you're having a little bit more trouble, try the following:

1. Go for a walk. 
2. Do something fun that you haven't in awhile.
3. Do something creative. 
4. Complete some minor chore that you've been avoiding.
5. Get in contact with an old friend that you haven't seen in awhile. 

For more on the tips above check out this site. Feel free to send me an e-mail if you just need someone to talk to or just to help you feel better. 

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.  ~Mark Twain

post no. 91 -- Monday Munchies

post no. 90 -- Sunday in Pictures

This has been a pretty lazy weekend. Friday I brought home this great rug I found, and Saturday we spent getting burned at a beach in Ka'awa. Kris has been playing games with his friend all day and I've been... washing the car, straightening the house, organizing, decorating, and being awesome. Oh and I washed the dog! Not so lazy for me... I unloaded all of the pictures from my camera and found a bunch from before Kris left in July. I couldn't believe how small Jack was, and how much we all have changed!! 

Speaking of Jack, March is going to be a fun month, lots in store (Jack's Diary, Giveaways, and more!) Stay tuned!! 

post no. 89 -- The List

post no. 88 - Happy Friday!

Kris has duty today, and watch during his dinner hour, so I will have to rough it, and just wait to see him tomorrow. I have a long list of to-do's today after work, so hopefully I can get everything spik-n-span before the weekend starts. Kris and a couple of his friend's discovered parts of the island yesterday, so he's excited to get back out to the beach this Saturday and Sunday. I, as observed from the above picture, need to get to work on my tan. Working in an office half the time doesn't really help getting some color. You can kind of tell though that my hair has started to grow back out, yipee! I was a little bummed when I read that hair only grows a 1/2 in. per month, but esta vida. Our roommate (to be) is getting things worked out with the ship today so we might just have him be moving in shortly. All in all, I think this is going to be a fun little adventure. Obviously, I'll keep you all posted!

post no. 87 -- Things I'm Obsessing Over

For the last several weeks actually, I've been obsessing over globes. K has wanted one since we set up house together, but at first I was just "eh" about the whole concept. Now, on the other hand, I'm completely on board. There are so many cool ideas (that I will totally be attempting sooner than later) centered around globes. In the meantime, here are so Etsy treats to get everyone in the mood. 

(In case you were wondering where the images came from, click to be redirected back to the appropriate shops!)

post no. 86 -- Four Little Friday Findings

The Rockstar Diaries

TART

A Beautiful Mess

Moorea Seal

post no. 85 -- A Day In The Life...

Yesterday we did an ash scattering at a garden site near Hawaii Kai. It was truly a beautiful setting. I managed to snap a picture of this butterfly that landed on the tree during the service, and I thought it was neat.

I don't usually do the touchy feely posts, but I just thought I'd share. It's funny living in paradise you never really stop and take a look of the things around you. Well this is my sentimental post for the week. 

post no. 84 -- Things I Want Thursdays

This week I'm going to switch up my Things I Want Thursdays posts. Lately I've been having a bit of baby fever between seeing pregnant friends and just the day to day cuties you see in strollers and bugees. The more I think about having a baby the more torn I become. On one hand, I love Kris, and I can't wait to have our children. On the other hand, is a laundry list of things that are less than ideal for having a child as this point in time. The most prominent (top 4) reasons being:

1. I'm not even 20 yet.
2. Kristopher is gone 7 months out of the year, and sporadically throughout his time at home. = Single parent. 
3. We are in Hawaii, far away from the support of family and friends. 
4. Jack. The 10 month old terror that would  probably abort the baby by jumping on my stomach even if we did decide to get pregnant at this point in time. 

So this week instead of listing material things I want, I am going to list some accomplishments I want before taking the plunge into parenthood. 

Let's begin!

Legal Drinking Age: I would first like to be over the age of 21 before we even start thinking about conceiving a baby. I feel one of the major challenges with military life, is that everything is accelerated, and you skip the freedom of your younger years. Most marry young, rush into children, in the meantime missing our on benefits such ass education. That leads me to my next point... 

College Degree: I really don't even care if it's an Associate's in Nonsense, I want one. Just to say I did it. As most of you know from previous posts I am planning on getting back into the swing of things this fall with a AA in Design. I know so many people, my parents included, that decided to wait on college, and even though as a small business junkie I won't really need it, I want it, so there. 

Finished Sleeve: This totally might sound ridiculous, but I want to finish my sleeve, and a couple other tattoos before we begin with the babies. Most tattoo shops won't ink you up if you are popping out, as there is a chance of infection or something going wrong with the pregnancy. Better to be safe than sorry, means knocking them out, before I push anything out. 

Jeep: When I was growing up I had this crazy idea that I would have a sparkling new Range Rover sitting in my driveway before we decided to have babies. Well, I have come to be a little more realistic since those days and have resolved to be perfectly content with my Jeep. Just because I'm content though, doesn't mean I can't make this thing ballin'. We have a Jeep Commander, a poor man's Land Rover. It's silver with "utilitarian" rims. The ultimate goal is to go black (which will probably happen by the end of the year) and get some fancy rims (like ones we had before they got stolen). Between the Jeep and Kris' Chevelle, I have no doubt we'll be the coolest parents at pre-school. 

Jack: I love this little terror. She's my baby, even though at 4AM she runs into our room and jumps through the air landing with a THUD on our bed... I don't think it's fair to her, as a puppy, to bring another baby into the house. She's used to being the center of attention, and being as hyper as she is, I think preggo me would probably snap at her way more than she deserves. I vote, she lives out her puppy year(s) baby free for now. 

Last but not least...

House in California: Kris and I both grew up in California and we loved it. I really want our kids to grow up in the same environment and everything, with grandparents to visit and everything. I want to have the stability of a house whether we decide to rent or buy right away, but I want that little suburban lifestyle. 

Well those are my goals for the next few years. Naturally, you can all stay posted, as this blog isn't going anywhere!

post no. 83 -- The Move

As those of you who have been reading the blog know, I really want to move. We live right by base, right next to Salt Lake (bad part of town...) and we have been robbed several times. First was less than a month after Kris had left on deployment and our rims were stolen right off our Jeep... in our driveway! Second, my purse and groceries while I was unloading them into the house, and third, a friend's bike that was parked outside the house. 

The hard part is, the island is pretty limited. We have a monster dog (in terms of size... and well, destruction too) and I have a long list of demands. Including:

Wood Floors, Tile, or Laminate (at least in main areas)

Yard or Patio

Close to Parks

Washer and Dryer in Unit

Park, or somewhere to walk previously mentioned Monster Dog

Ability to house previously mentioned Monster Dog

2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms (minimum... 3 if we want a roommate)

2 Stories

and last but not least...

Parking!

I don't think my demands are too unreasonable... 

The main problem is Monster Dog, AKA Jacklyn Hydette Pearson. I found a place just north of Kaneohe with everything we want, slightly over our budget, but totally manageable with a roommate. We're not super on board to move right away, but who knows. Maybe this place will stay available for awhile! 

Fingers crossed!

post no. 82 -- It's a Small World After All

The older I get (sounds a little ridiculous at times to hear myself saying that) the smaller the world seems to get. I think living in Hawaii was a huge wake up call for that fact as the more I branch away from California and Laguna Beach the more it seems to follow me around. Last week we put together a private charter for Laguna Beach High School JV Baseball Team... and get this, the coach went to school with Kris. 

I feel that blogging has also helped connect things closer to home as well. Perusing others' blogs led me to Jessica over at TART, who grew up and still lives in Hawaii. It's a trip (at least to me) to think about all the people that are potentially right around the corner, that you have no idea exist, let alone share your same interests, hobbies, I could go on forever. 

Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet started a post similar to this after receiving an e-mail from someone in Russia, so here I am just as curious, about where you are, be it city, state, zip code, whatever... 

So, where are you?

post no. 81 -- What Inspires Me Wednesdays

Military Wives (from WWII): Imagine not knowing where your husband is, and not getting any communication for several weeks at a time. Not being able to just type up an e-mail and send it right off, but to have to wait weeks and even months for a single letter. Now imagine, staying composed during that whole mess. I couldn't do it. I'd probably be a wreck. Society as a whole during the World War II era was just so much classier and put together than we are nowadays, and a piece of me wishes that could still exist in today's culture. 

Snow White Tattoos: Love the entire concept.

Tattoo'd Brides: Kris and my first wedding was in a small little living room in Virginia. Our second was more a celebration for my mom (she wasn't able to attend the first) and other family. Kris and I have already decided to renew our vows our style on our 5th anniversary, and you better believe I'm planning on being a tattoo'd bride. I love the look and the style of pairing classy with offbeat.

Old Couples: Being practically a child bride when Kris and I tied the knot, I love hearing stories about these couples that have been together 60+ years. K and I both bawled when we watched the beginning of UP. I really can't imagine life without him. Tattoo'd, wrinkly, and in love. Those will be my golden years. 

What's inspiring you this Wednesday?